“I think I need to do it my own way:” Mayra on Growing as a Mother
Mayra with daughter Sofia
When Mayra and her eldest daughter Mariel moved to Napa six years ago, they were going through some growing pains. With a new baby on the way, the two moved to a bigger place to make room for their growing family, but they lacked some essentials to make their house a home. Plus, with so much of Mayra’s focus on the baby-on-the-way, Mariel was missing her mom’s undivided attention.
To help them get through this transition, Mayra reached out to Cope for support, where she received a supply of diapers and wipes to get them started. She also learned of the other services Cope offered, including parenting classes. Mayra thought she might learn some ways to help Mariel through this big transition, so she enrolled.
Over eight weeks of class, Mayra learned about her daughter’s development, which helped her better understand Mariel’s feelings and behaviors, including Mariel’s difficulty sharing her mom’s attention. Mayra learned how to better manage misbehavior, encourage positive behaviors, and set boundaries with her daughter.
When Mayra’s second daughter, Sofia, was a toddler, Mayra enrolled in Cope’s Home Visiting program for more hands-on support. Then, at three years old, Sofia was diagnosed with a speech impediment and began seeing a speech therapist.
Mayra’s eldest daughter, Mariel
Mayra wanted to learn some additional ways to support her daughter’s development, so she worked with her Family Support Specialist to create habits that would promote Sofia’s speech and language skills, such as reading with her regularly.
Mayra says she learned a lot about her daughters’ development in the two years she spent in the program, and she regularly uses the skills she learned, such as positive ways to encourage her two daughters to share and methods for disciplining her children in positive and healthy ways.
“I’ve learned that each child is different, and I am learning how to parent each of my daughters as individuals.”
Mayra has also attended Cope’s Discussion Groups, single sessions that cover topics ranging from bedtime routines to managing family stress. Mayra says that by attending the discussion groups, she feels she is becoming more social and independent.
Gathering with a group of other parents, she says that she feels less alone knowing that others are experiencing the same challenges, and rewards, on their parenting journeys. The discussion groups have helped her create valuable connections, and she invites other parents in her circle to enroll so that they can reap the same benefits.
“She participates in everything. Classes, discussion groups, events. She’s the kind of person who is always willing to learn. She’s a great voice for our parents,” says Luisa, Mayra’s former parent educator.
Mayra and Sofia with their FSS, Paulina
Through her participation in Cope’s parenting services and her own investment in strengthening her parenting skills, Mayra has noticed big changes in her family. She says that her daughters have learned how to better share, are better at following rules and boundaries, and have a stronger relationship with one another.
Another big takeaway from her time in Cope’s parenting programs is the importance of self-care. Mayra says that before she enrolled in her first class at Cope, she didn’t invest much time in herself. Now she takes the time each day to practice small acts of self-care, such as taking a few minutes out of her busy day to wash her face or take a walk.
Mayra says that through this practice, she has become more in touch with her emotions and is better able to express her feelings. She has also learned how to better recognize and empathize with her daughters’ emotions.
Learning self-care has helped her feel good about herself, and she says she is a better parent because of it. She is more patient with her children, and she experiences less stress on a day-to-day basis.
“No one really teaches you how to be a parent,” she says. “I was raising my children the way I was raised. I think I need to do it my own way.”